The Cacophony Of Silence

Have you ever had this feeling of wanting to say something but unable to say because of certain inhibitions running on your mind? I have been under such situations several times, whether it is listening to a reprimand or having a silent discussion with someone. There are times when my mind asks what should I say or what should I not say or why is the other person trying to indirectly start an accusation when I don’t think I deserve it. Such incidents lead to nothing but stress after stress because before you think of reacting you miss the bus already.

Through my life experiences, the solution is well under our control but it is definitely not a cakewalk in reality.

One needs to be a braveheart for starters. There would be situations in your life when you would experience it against a person very senior to you but the essence should be to remain fearless in your views and not be disrespectful. Even if in such situations you consider yourself a loser, don’t lose heart and don’t give up and most importantly don’t let it influence your mind. There will always be a next time and every day is a new day.

Second and the most important aspect is to be confident about your side of the argument. You may have worked hard for hours burning the midnight oil but if you are not confident no one will lend their ears for you.

Sometimes, smart and confident talks attract attention. It does not mean that the person giving a smart talk has all the required knowledge about the subject being discussed but he or she definitely communicates appropriately by being to the point. So, when you exude confidence during such difficult situations, half of your battle is won already.

Knowing too much about a subject creates a barrier in clear communication. One may not realise that the person on the other side may be expecting an explanation in a layman language. So, one needs to communicate appropriately. However, having a sound knowledge about the subject under discussion does act as a strong foundation in the long run. Smart talks without sound knowledge may find an audience initially but in the long term, this does not work.

Understanding the psyche of the other person also helps in pacing yourself right at the time of communicating. When a person is already furious or preoccupied with other engagements, your voice may go unheard or worse it may create more tension in the air. So, it is best to give space and time and do not always rush into a discussion. It may give you a good opportunity to work more on your side of the story.

Next important aspect is how much to communicate and what to communicate. It is good to be short and sweet in your communication. When we have too much to talk about, many times we do not prioritise on what should be communicated foremost. When something like this happens, there are good chances of starting a discussion on something irrelevant before the main discussion could even start and then everyone misses out on the big picture. In such cases, it would be a good idea to start with the positives and then go to the negatives to avoid unwanted disruptions.

Last but not least, it is important how we perceive ourselves as an individual rationally. Deep inside our heart, we always consider ourselves to be perfect and correct all the time. We perceive that we can do nothing wrong and when someone reprimands or accuses us, it sows the seeds for a Cold War. There is nothing wrong in accepting or apologising for your mistakes. It does not make you inferior in any way. Also, is it not better to have an open discussion with the opponent instead of burying your emotions? Yes, it is not easy and not a fool-proof solution but it works sometimes to build a stronger relationship with each other. Talking is always better because you can express yourself better and understand how the other person reciprocates to your thoughts and views.

If you have not experienced anything of the above till now, then it is a dangerous situation too. It is not good to be always in a complacent mode. Your ability to sustain unfavourable situations becomes weaker. It’s important to be labelled as a ‘villain’ or the ‘accused’ sometimes, otherwise, we will never become fearless and stronger in our minds and in our hearts.