A Celebration Of Happiness And Sorrow

Early last month, I happened to go to a wedding outstation. My brother in law was getting hitched to his longtime girlfriend. There was pressure to bring my best self forward during the wedding being his ‘only bhabhi’ (sister-in-law). Fortunately, after working hard on the attire and makeup and dance rehearsals, I managed to put up a satisfactory presentation.

During traditional Indian weddings, it is natural for every woman to have an ambition of presenting their supreme self. The irony is that each one of them is so conscious about their own looks that no one actually has the time to look beyond themselves. I very often ask a question to myself, “Why the hell do I need to devote so much time dressing-up if it’s just for my own satisfaction? Why can’t I just be a plain Jane? If every girl starts thinking in this direction, think of the amount of money and time one would save by not visiting a beauty parlour or a fancy boutique.

Marriages in India are a very complicated affair. The planning is done almost five to six months in advance. Both the groom and the bride families make so many preparations and yet until the last hour and minute it does not seem to end. This is the time when people are too sensitive about their emotions. In the midst of the hustle bustle, you would find a grandpa or an aunt groaning about the indifference shown by the girl’s parents. A bride’s family needs to be non-stop on red alert so that no one goes home unsatisfied.

Sadly, things can never go smooth as silk. There are several thorns on the path. There is so much riding with the overall wedding experience, that it keeps both the families on their toes.

You invite people, pamper them with food and hospitality, then handover return gifts before bidding goodbye, yet something may still be wrong in the eyes of your guests.

The best discussion and juicy conversations happen after the wedding. Everyone pours out never-ending complaints about something or someone. The gossips are so interesting that men and women together conduct such sessions unlike the normal tradition of being in separate groups.

Yes, weddings do bring people together and sometimes at the cost of a few poor souls unaware of the wicked scrutiny of their persona.

I shudder with the thought of the amount of money spent on Indian weddings. Is it really worth? I don’t think so. All that money vanishes behind wasted food, cranky relatives, high margin event management and countless expenses which ultimately become useless.

During this wedding, I saw the bride’s parents crying uncontrollably when their darling daughter was leaving them for her new home. It struck me somewhere deep in my heart, that after all a bride’s family has so much to lose and yet they are always at the receiving end for any mishaps during weddings.

It’s very important that a groom’s family understands them and extends unconditional love towards them. The ultimate goal should be to metamorphose their relationship with their daughter-in-law akin to that of a daughter. After all, a big fat wedding should be worth this transformation.